Hello, I’m Independent. Nice to meet you!
So, here I am writing a blog post about the importance of finding your own purpose, but have I found my own? I think I’m starting to. The whole point of this blog will be to see through a dream of mine that I’ve had since I was 16. That dream was to start something that terrified me, mostly YouTube or a blog.
Some of you reading this may recognize me from my couples account, so why am I now solo?
I’m not solo or single (yes, I am still in a happy relationship with my girlfriend) but I have to be honest, I’ve been struggling for the last several weeks with feeling inadequate and finding my individual purpose and it’s been affecting my relationship. Hannah has always been an independent person, and so have I, but i’ve created a lot of excuses as to why I haven’t done some of the things i’ve been wanting to do while Hannah is making some amazing decisions for herself, no excuses included.
I’ve been struggling to find independence and the best way I know how to kick feelings of inadequacy in the butt is by diving right into something that i’ve been putting off. I have to do what terrifies me or it paralyzes me.
I’ve been putting off creating my own blog for nearly 8 years.
I have been able to test the blogging waters with Hannah and it’s been more successful than I could have ever dreamed, but I didn’t get to that level of success on my own. I do realize that I’m not alone and I truly do have an amazing support system. But I mean, I might have taken an easier approach to blogging by starting the couples blog first. But now it’s time to confront that.
I’ve told myself every excuse in the book as to why I shouldn’t have my own blog.
“You don’t really want a blog.” “You’ll embarrass yourself.” Blah blah blah. The thing is, if I want to stop feeling inadequate I’m going to have to start being adequate. If i’m willing then i’m capable. Creating this space dedicated to myself is terrifying but making excuses as to why I shouldn’t is now even more terrifying.
My individual goals have been neglected because of my own fear.
It’s easy to look to your partner for shelter and comfort but creating a couples blog was never going to cover up my own goals. During the last 5 years, I’ve learned to look fear right in the eye and here we are. I’m starting a new chapter and *SPOILER ALERT* it includes me sucking it up and doing what my 16 year old self would have wanted.
I hope you guys keep reading because I have a feeling that theres a lot more to my story.
Peace & Love,